feelin' me!

last post

2008-05-07T23:46:00.001+08:00

this is gonna be the last post here. i am going to close down this blog n move somewhere. i still dunnoe where. but ya, will go to ur individual blog to put up link ya. haha.

all said n done. i shall move on to a new location. in search for a heart that will long for my presence always.

Over you II.

2008-05-04T13:44:00.002+08:00

the 1st thing i did was to take out our photos from my wallet.

today, i did the 2nd one. I deleted the special grp for him in my Msn. no longer my dar. so there shouldnt be a dar grp. i dun have a bf. n my next bf will not be given the same nick as u.

goodbye my 1st luv. and this song is for u.

Over you.

2008-05-04T13:30:00.003+08:00

Chapter 2: a new beginning

ytd night is the time i decided to let go. ytd after thinking so much bout him, i cried. cried out loud for a whole 2 hrs. called qian but she was unavailable. wanted to call his friend, but also unable to link up. eventually, i called up kel. he spend quite some time trying to comfort me. but i still cried for an hr on the phone. i guess it reached a certain point he also dunnoe how. hahaha. but after tt, things got better. kel made me understand that i deserve better than to wait. after trying so hard, i guess i alr cant do anything. wy has alr moved on to next stage of his life and i shouldn't be here waiting. kel is right, it is because i am in the holidays thats why i am so lonely. wy made the decision and i am left to deal with it. he didnt think about how i would feel when he choose to walk away like that. so why do i have to wait here for him?

wy told me bout the girls he met, things he does in SPA. all these doesnt make me feel any better. it just made me feel that i am really being left behind. and i decided that it is time for me to stop having hope. cos the time may nv be right, he will nv be back. kel asked, why do i have to lower myself so much to suffer this humiliation. i couldnt ans him. but i understand that this is not wat i want.

i shall start to pack up our stuff and put it behind me. i want to soon be able to say, i am OVER you.

my 15 days, the 2nd day..

2008-05-02T03:53:00.002+08:00

this particular night, i took out the photos from my wallet. at a joke from bin, i took it out. den realising that by touching those photos, memories flood into my mind. the conversation with bin began to turn from cheery to slightly upset.

yes, i know. i should find a new direction in life. everyone is hurrying me to do so. but i sometimes would really like to stay at the spot to wait. wait for him to turn ard. to see me. to tell me pls be with him. i know entertaining such thoughts is bad choice for me n my life. i just cant get over.

the songs below just apply too much to me. n i know i cant over.

原來你什麼都不要:

我知道這樣不好也知道你的愛只能那麼少
我只有不停的要　要到你想逃

淚濕的枕頭晒乾就好
眼淚在你的心裡只是無理取鬧

this is how i felt when u told me to stop crying. it is like i am very troublesome n tt u didnt want to care. i want so much from u, i guess i scare u off. but actually, i just wanted more care. i would do anything for u. would u?

记得:

谁还记得是谁先说永远的爱我

以前的一句话是我们以后的伤口

过了太久没人记得当初那些温柔

我和你手牵手说要一起走到最后

yes, u were the one who told me u love me wanted to be with me. forever was the word u chose. u knew i wasnt someone who believed in promises and such forever. but as days go by, i actually did. i believed that u would be there for me. and yet, this time i am let down. how am i to believe in such promises again? i cant help but think tt the next one alone the way, will still be out to break my heart.

hey peeps

2008-04-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

hi there. ytd n today i had a great time with all my friends. met up with diff ppl n did lots of stuff. thanks for helping me overcome loneliness.

watched 2 movies ytd- the hottie n the nottie; the forbidden kindom. both are nice. hehehe. n i also had a great time meeting up with the new media arts peeps. today i went to bugis, den bought a dress plus a belt. ya, very ex. but nvm la. look gd can alr. hahaha. senior was really a nice company.

i really miss him sometimes. but i know he will nv call. but i will still call him up. cant control! hmmmm... each time i call, i feel more disappointed then ever. i guess i will keep doing tt till i dun even have that 0.00001 % of hope. sigh. heart break is so diffcult.

mia

2008-04-26T01:03:00.003+08:00

hey peeps, i know i may be MIA in a while. pls leave me an sms. n i will let u know how to find me. hahaha. i am going thru a difficult time. so ya.. hope tt i will get thru it n come out as a better person.

i going to sleep now with a heavy heart. sometimes i know i feel tt things will nv be okay. but i know its not true. so i will try my very best. becos i have nth to lose. my heart is alr shattered into more than pieces but powder. hahahahaha.. yes u can say gd joke.. lol..

cold night. cold heart

2008-04-24T21:42:00.002+08:00

the night is cold, so is my heart. i walked alone, a long way to the bus stop. waited half an hour for the bus. the wind is blowing, cold n hard. no bus is in sight.

yes, tt was what happened just now. i eventually took a cab home. now i am back to my home sweet home. n i realised tt in this whole world no one can provide for me as well as my parents do. the warmth in home can nv be found else where. not to say him.

day by day...

2008-04-20T18:39:00.002+08:00

its the forth day of the break up. yes, days still go by. no, not anyway from being ok.

on the second i went to queensway with qian, bought my running shoes. yes, i spent lots of money. $130 on the adizero LT, n $15 on the shoe bag. but i guess, it is all worth it. because i will be going to gym more often than ever. hahaha. anyway, the bus ride to queensway was bad, its like super long. an hour n a half! plus the songs in my brother's mp3 are all those lovesick emo tunes. yes, i started crying even before halfway thru the ride. fortunately for me, there is a guy who is quite large sitting in front of me, so kinda blocked me. n soon at dunearn there, my bro mp3 died out. great. no more emo songs! hahaha.

on the third day, i went for hip hop n den gym. things are all pretty normal. n i really wanna say a big 'THANKS' to sh n siok for calling me up n checking if i'm ok. thanks for trying to divert my attention from the whole issue.

i know i seems pretty ok. i am surprised at that too. i guess i haven't really take this as a break up. i dun wanna leave you. but yet i cant be with you, not till you do sth to win me back. but for now, i know you are totally confused with wat you want. you said no commitment would be best, but hey, no commitment is for people who have not throw in emotions into the relationship. its like one-night-stand! ya. no commitment but no emotions either. just purely enjoying tt particular moment. i'll wait for you to come back and tell me u missed me. tell me tt you would do anything to win me back. i'll give you half a yr to think thru'. yes, it is not even enough for you to finish yr2 nor poly. but its going to be a long time for me. i guess i can't wait for you my whole life. after this half a yr, i know i would let go. yes, as day goes by, hope is lost slowly.

for now, all i can do is to do everything to make myself more happy. enjoy the freedom tt i get now. i'll hold my tears back for i know you will come back. i dunnoe why on earth am i so positive, its scaring even myself. but this is how i truly felt, and hope you are come to your real sense too. come on darling! i am waiting for U!

a last post for u

2008-04-18T03:24:00.009+08:00

this is special to you , wy :

yes i know it is 3.30 am and i promised to go sleep. but my heart urged me to do this posting. i probably also know you might not come view my blog ever again, still i wish to write sth just for you.

this might be the end, but like the saying goes "the end is just the start of something new". i will like to start this post from how we started.

from the every 1st time we really get to know each other better.

ocean 13! yup. from the 1st cheesecake at NYDC (actually tt is the 1st time i had a cheesecake from tt place) and vodka in the afternoon! (why did i choose to have vodka for tea time? i really wonder.) hahaha.

the library is where we really hit it off. though I'm sorry that you didn't really study much there. hmmm.. just trying to go out with me ya. thanks for the effort.

this is the KING n the QUEEN!! i really like your editing of photos. seriously. sorry that i never tell you earlier. thank you for doing these little things.

and the first time i went over to your place for dinner. ya, i know you are now thinking of my plait that makes my face so round. no no no, dun laugh already! hey, i purposely dressed up okay?

hahaha. remember how you came over at night because you need me to help you with your critical reasoning essay. haha. and i was busy with your essay.. you...? playing with my polar bear! ROAR!!!ROARRRRR!! (with pics as prove, you can't deny. lol.)

next we have our wooden house. it is now being like placed in a corner. but i really enjoyed building it with you. it is really fun. because i like doing such art-n-craft.

omg... there are so many things! i can't finish writing. so do a quick scan! we have our kite flying. I'll never forget how happy i was. its a wish came true to go for a kite flying date.

sakura. that meal is really filling. i had alot of fun. well, just a little upset that you got too quiet in the end. i think you ate too much and caused the stomach to be unwell. ok, forgiven! hahaha. thanks for the GUESS wallet. i will continue to use it. so hope you will also continue to use the wallet i gave you, cos its branded and it's a waste to let it rot in the drawer. so please please don't!

i like the roses you gave. thanks. it is still with me, but in petals form as i dry it and paste in my album.

most of all, thanks for the calculator surprise. i didn't know you knew how to use the GC till then. i was smiling to myself through out my math tutorials. you are a real sweetie! :)

ops. 1 finally one. you said i didn't post your hot photo. ok, so here it is. i finally posted it up. you are HOT! szzzzezzzzzzzingggg...

eventually i have came to the end. no matter how many memories we have, it is going to end. when i pushed the 'end call' button on my hp moments ago, i knew i was letting go of a really great guy. i don't blame you for anything. sorry that i have demand too much from you recently. i just want to let you know, that was because i grew to like you too much. and it increased by the days. i want to see more n more of you. i want to share every part of your life and i want you into every part of mine. sorry that things backfired. i will never regret choosing you for you taught me how to love. i dunnoe how i am going to pull through but i know i will.

every time we quarrelled, i will want to go back to you. no matter who was wrong, i am willing to go find you and apologise. i want you to take me back all the time and at those moments i am willing to do anything just to be with you. this time, sorry. i cant be like that anymore. so i'm letting you go. if we are meant to be, we will cross path again. lets us take some time to be friends, and maybe if one day we are able to find the passion for each other again, we will be tgt.

(ok, i admit. at this point, i am still so positive. i am always so positive, waiting for the one to come back. just like how i waited for kh.) i know you are different, because you are a really nice guy. i hope the next time we meet i am able to smile cheerily and you too.

15 July 2007 - 16 April 2008

goodbye my love n hi my friend!

let me try

2008-04-15T16:45:00.003+08:00

ok, the previous few weeks are crazy. my relationship is basically totally unstable. i believe the previous 2 weeks are my lowest point emotionally. but hey, i gotten through it. though i am still wondering where my relationship is heading. (hopefully not towards rocks n crashing)

i picked up hip-hop. bought tonnes of things ytd on a shopping trip with siok.. n i am still lookin forward to more shopping this friday. already arranged with qian to go down to queensway to get our dance shoes (more of running shoes). i think we are buying adiZero, if the price is right. hahaha.. wait i think i have the urge to post my ytd's buy online.. hmmmm... let me go take some photos!

ok. thats just 2 of the items. i realised i am too lazy to take photos of the other 2 shirts.

anyway, i am tryin to save up some money and also thinking of how i am further grow my money. i seriously wanna buy my own car soon. i totally cant wait.. hahha..

feelings

2008-04-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

why do i feel so differently towards so many things?

towards you. things feels different. can't smile n laugh the way i used to. yet you dun notice anything wrong with me. beside the way i look, you cant sense any other things. why is this so? i dun want you to care only about how i look. i need you to care about how i feel. n feelings towards you may have changes, though i dun know in what way.

maybe when somethings is lost, it just cant be reclaim. no matter how hard i search.

a new start

2008-04-07T16:31:00.004+08:00

this is all that i want for now.
smiles!

this morning was bad. went to the playground. n yes, he didn't come. still slightly angry over that fact.

anyway, things are fine now. should be the last time we are making up again, i strongly think that we will not be able to survive another quarrel. so lets treasure what we have now.

he said he will be very busy for the rest of this yr due to school work and adventure club commitments. i am not against it. just that recently, i have been so overly dependent. i guess, its time for me to find things to do. and make more friends, shouldn't be just waiting ard for him all the time. i felt his friends wont really helpful, but ya i dun care la. its not like i am dating them, just let them be. he needs time with his friends, and i just cant be tagging along all the time. so, many more activities for me. maybe picking up dance lesson with qian will really be good. :)

so here are the photos.

yes i went to the playground at 6.30 am.

i need to find things to do

2008-04-06T21:52:00.002+08:00

i really need to find things to do. just 2 days that u are are away in camp, i find myself totally lost. i was like waiting for the call, but the long awaited call didn't come. yes, i sounded pathetic but i was really so. this made me realised that for the past 8 months, my life has been slowly been revolving ard u only. my social circle was cut down to only a few souls and most of the available time was spent with you or thinking about you. time with you is fun, but i don't want my life to reach a state where it is only you. i think life encompass more than just love. if i become a girl that need to rely on a man, for all her needs, then she is no longer shean tyng. shean tyng is a girl who enjoys her freedom, able to do things that she likes independently. of cos, shean tyng also long for love and be loved. she needs a man who knows his goals and have his dreams. most importantly, he must be one who is sensitive and gentle to her.

i finally knows what i need. all along, this has never changed.

anyway, i shall stop all my emo. 2 lonely days are enough. no more mopping ard waiting for things to happen. i don't like how i spent that 2 days. dar, i am angry with you or what. i know you need time away and you enjoy time with your friends as well. maybe you didn't expect me to be this sensitive, but yes i am. i want to be constantly bugged by you. hahaha... i want you to constantly call me.

well, i have just set some minor goals. i am going to re-establish my social circle. i need friends. i can't live like that, only missing you. i don't care if ppl's gf can. they are them, cos for all you know, your friends don't even know what exactly their gfs are doing. i will try to get more girl friends and yes, cut down on the number of guy friends. you are going to start school soon, and if i am still living the way i am now. i foresee me, mopping ard and waiting for you all the time. and that will only make me into someone who is pathetic and of low self-esteem. please don't tell me what to do. it is hard. really. i like you and i will try to like you the way you are. i will try to like the way you turn green when you see others. so try to like me the way i am. lets not change each other and not give too much opinion. just enjoy being together. that is the most important. if we cant enjoy being together, the rest are of no good.

finding back wat i lost

2008-04-03T10:54:00.002+08:00

waking up this morning, i felt as bad as ytd night. things between us may seems back to normal, but i know deep within me, it isn't. i tried so hard to let things be where we started out to be. just that, the feeling is different.along the way, all the quarrels we had caused us to lost the way. the present us, do not actually know wat we want nor wat are we holding on to. maybe that is only me. yes, i do not know wat i want.

being with me made you such a tired man, so what is the point. each time there is some minor disagreements, things blow up bad. i never wanted it that way. sometimes, i know its time to let go, my heart just cant.i dont know wat i am holding on to. i really dont know.

i cant be the lady you wished i was. and you arent the man, who can give me wat i want. we dun understand each other. so why are we holding on? i cant be determined to give up, so we are now in this draggy state.

i'm so sorry but all that fills my mind now are the unhappy memories. where have the happy ones gone too?

each time we quarrel, my heart is shattered. sorry, but i cant love you the way i used to anymore. even if things seems ok on the outside, it just isnt deep inside.

when days are bad...

2008-03-28T01:04:00.005+08:00

i went onto msn, saw a friend's nick which goes "love is a cure-less poison and i am a carrier". i felt that to be more appropriate, it should be "love is a virus and i am a carrier". allow me to explain why.

love is similar to virus as it live on a host (Yes, that's us!). it is even a really good virus as it doesn't kill off the host, it just feeds on the host. to explain, virus needs the host to live on order for it to survive, so many times it is not the viruses that caused death. (etc. HIV- which is AIDS. infected patients do not die of AIDS but other bacterial infections. HIV just simply reduces your immune systems) ok, back to love. love doesn't kill you, it just makes you a carrier and sometimes may caused other illness. for example, extreme mood swings, depressions...those usually dun kill you, unless.. (i dunnoe, maybe sometimes they do ya. depressions do..hmmm)

further comparisons btw virus n love. in the initial stage of infection, the virus is dormant in you. this is in parallel with the initial of love or crush. next, virus in the host will replicate quickly under favorable conditions. it is like emotions in you continues to build up over time and finally it will erupt. Yes, that is the final stage where you will infect yet another poor soul. yes, another one in the agony of the virus "LOVE".

ok, sry guys bored everyone out with my lame bio cum love essay.. hahaha.. yes, i am kinda out of love..

i think i must be nuts to be under my thick quilt blanket now to do this post. but i seriously must get it out of me. all those thoughts. (but after rounds of crying, headache, vomiting, i guess i am alr close to nuts?) oh wells..

yes, i am nuts becos i dunnoe what i am expecting. why am i putting false hope onto sth i knew that is unlikely to happen? actually all i want to know is that u are sincere. regardless of how difficult things may be or even my rejections, you are willing to be there. willing to hold everything up for me till i am ready.

on the other hand, i know its not easy for u. having to be so unsecured all the time. but it is my character. i know i cant promise you i'll change to wat u want becos i knew it would be impossible. and for u to accept is also hard. n here we are- stuck!

i dunnoe wat else to say for my mind is in a whirlwind. i have something in mind, yes. a false hope n a time limit set to it. certain things when its too late, it will be. but there is still time.. ( ok now i am sayin rubbish.. ok ok ok... i am too vague ya.. but thats the point)

nite peeps..

song

2008-01-24T00:12:00.000+08:00

hey, just wanna introduce a nice song. chance upon it in youtube.. its really nice so here..

anyway, i shall include the lyrics for u all..

♥Olivia- SoMeTiMeS wHeN wE tOuChEd lyrics♥

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

for us.

2008-01-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

us!

2008-01-17T23:39:00.000+08:00

wow. its half a yr, U and I! i truly thank you for putting up with me, care for me and loving me all these while. and i really had a nice time at sakura on tues.

hee, for the rest. here are the pics.. our sweet loving pics. :P (ok, my bad. sry peeps.)

对不起

2008-01-04T19:44:00.000+08:00

i'm sry. got u upset again. this time i think i am seriously not gd enough. maybe i should let it go. but i know i will nv have the courage to do so. i cant face the loneliness that will be thrown back to me again. afterall, i am alr so used to seeing u all the time.

i dun even know wat i am thinking about when i said those things. feel really lost now. hopefully it is just the weather today that made me so blue.

for once, i dun like blue.

at 18 i need to find ME

2007-12-29T02:13:00.000+08:00

at 18 i need to find ME

thats is the tittle of my entry for the day. its late n i seriously shouldn't be online (my eye circles are getting very bad). but still, i am here blogging. not becos i wanna update u all, but for myself. hence, pardon my long boring n not-well-phrase language.

its weeks after A lvls, and i am like a lost soul. i went about looking for jobs, does everything that need to be done, no goals, no stress. well, today my dad had a long chat with me, really long. oh wells, we always have long chat and i do like listening to what he has to say. i am typing all these down so that i can rmb everything in the weeks to come. the seniors around me having been telling me alot about life, maybe in a hope to see me do better in years to come. and what my dad said today struck me. previously, i may use the excuse that i am too busy n push back reflecting about myself. now i really am free.

my dad said alot.. i suddenly dun know where to start..

firstly, he asked me to think about what i want to do. and told me to correct my money habits. yes, i am recently spending too much. in fact, i am spending money that have not even reached my hands. for this i really must say sry to wy, been borrowing cash from u to fund some of my own entertainment. you may not mind but the small sums here and there do add up. well, dad reminded me that my spending habit is likely to cause me to fall into many bad debts in yrs to come if continued. for this, i will have to need strong determination to kick the habit.

next, my dad spoke bout work. how he hope i can spend more time in lea ring the ropes of his business and learning to trade forex. for all the things he said, i truly admire him for how he is able to plan n carry out the plans. he owns only a small company of less than 10 workers, but he is able to complete so many projects. that maybe is what he wanted me to learn, rope of doing business. or in fact it is more than that, how to be a leader, how to plan and carry it out, and how is it like in the working world. dad told me how to carry our self, be humble and yet be able to gain the respect of people in time to come. he told me the importance of reputations, and trust.

at this point, i began to see light. i find that actually i aren't a gd leader yet, and there are many things i have failed in life. i know that for being humble, i am not exactly one.for being on time, that is worst. i have plans, but many times i didn't follow it thru'. i began to see all my weakness.. and i realised that i have a long way to go to be just like my dad.

my dad reminded me that to achieve goals and target, there will always be a fight needed. u have to push and press on. the attitude of lock your target and go for it. that is really lacking in me.

to wy: sometimes, i really just cant be the innocent naive 18 year old gf you want me to be. becos i see many things lacking in me, and often family members will point it out. sometimes in a way of encouragement talk, sometimes its money talk. all these and the environment that i grow up in push me to grow. dad always speak about thinking ahead. my parents will push my siblings and I to think like an adult, in money sense too. the value of money is taught since young and we see the way our parents work n strive in their business. we have also seen the times when they had failed badly. you may not be able to fully comprehend, and you have not experience it first hand.

my parents have high hopes. many things they want me to learn and i am learning. i want to spend time with you and my family and spend time learning things too. but a balance is really not easy. dad says be not afraid of failure, only then will you succeed. he said to be able to let go of things is the way, priories things. be not afraid of what ppl says, ignore them and be yourself. and now, i am here at 18 yrs old, wondering what is myself. what kind of person is shean tyng?

i am stunned... becos i cant ans...

i do not know what i am searching for all these time. maybe the two yrs in jc shows me that i am not as perfect as i thought i am. jc expose all my weakness, and i have yet to solve it. the confident me is nothing but an illusion. i need alot of assurance. i am not at all satisfied with how i look and my habits. i really do not like it when you go for family gathering and hear family members say, oh you put on weight again and wow, you have such panda eyes already...

my habits yes, many are all lousy bad habits... and with my lousy results, i really dunnoe what i can be confident about. so yes, my past confidence is illusion becos it is based on all the self-satisfactory of myself that i made up in my mind. i am not confident about who i really am.

something about wy i really like, his attitude. pls do not think you will not be successful. in fact you have very gd attitude in terms of being on time and delivering your promises. sounds easy but many ppl are unable to achieve. yes, you dun like money talk now, but soon you will get to face it in time to come. and i am sure by then you will understand and have a change of mindset.

for now, i wanna search for the ME deep inside me. and i will want to focus on a few daily tasks. being able to complete it will train my behaviour. the attitude of just go for it.

1) tuition (yes, be on time. this is work, not child's play)
2) complete driving lessons (been missing theory lessons, and causing him to miss too. my attitude really is lousy)
3) forex (i cant take the time to help dad out at work but since i had alr started out learning this, i should try to master it. speaking about making passive income, i will have to do my best and make my 1st try at passive income works)

dar, hope that you will help me along. i need your support and encouragement. pls do not put me down saying that it is all my money talk. i am just sharing it wit you, my plans. i assure you, it is more than money though you may not see it that way. it is not material wants i am craving for. i want more than that.. only luxury and money wont make life a happy one. though it cant be short too. know we dun have the same ideology here, and i wont force it on you either.

sign off. shean

a new post..

2007-10-22T23:46:00.000+08:00

my cutie pie- my bro!

him

polar bear n me at the north pole. (ops, its library.)

thats the problem with me.

hey. yup, i'm starting a series of new post.

A lvl is here real soon, and its gonna be over in like a month? haha. thats fast right.. anyway, i have recently came up wit a long "I DESIRE" list. so shall put it up before i forget..

I DESIRE!

GUESS wallet

prom dress

1 jean

3 shirts

my own tennis racket n shoes

learn tennis

lose like 10 kg (i am severly overweight now by BMI index)

new swim suit (cos i am gonna swim- lose weight la)

get a present for him

get a mp3 for my bro

a cute soft toy for my sis

start my live account for forex trading

ok.. just these for now... hee..

the video below is a song by Hebe (from S.H.E) and Fei Lun Hai. well, its basically up there for my bf who cant graspe the lyrics despite listening for alot of times. haha.. wanna say, thanks for the hebal tea!

deleting all entries

2007-10-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

i am deleting all entries. no gd reason as to why.

a little word of encouragement

2007-06-22T01:33:00.000+08:00

a friend saw my post and left me some comments on msn. thanks for the word of encouragement. maybe i shall post a mini portion of it here.

".... mr right? no, there's no answer to tt. he'll come along your way searching. its always better to pace down a little, be somewhat selfish and do things u want to do alone for all tt u could right now. your mr right could come tomorrow, a yr later or even after.... who knows? haha. i've learnt something recently, which i'll blog about sometime when im free, i.e. courage. we live days via courage. every decision depended on our courage to execute. fish leong's yong qi remember? the courage to stay firm with your decision.

yap. and to remain friends meant to reject them, at least in the most easiest way

ppl say ure a flirt, who cares? we've lived 18 years of our life. what kind of critism have we not had? what kind of ppl can we not differentiate?"

i understand n i post it here, such that i will nv forget wat u siad.

and lastly..tyng dong bell must be more brave ah!!

well, i will! :))

History is written by Winners

2007-01-11T17:27:00.000+08:00

BYE to the me who tried to say hi to him but end up like goldfish wit nth coming out.
BYE to the me who tried so hard to come sch early to watch his match but end up slightly late.
BYE to the me who was so embarrassed in class by the gossip gals. yet he pretend to not heard.
BYE to the me who plucked up so much courage to pass him a little birthday present.
BYE to the me who was so disappointed at my failure.
BYE to all the ME you know in 2006. BYE to my 1st ever largest crush. BYE to my ever lousiest grade in the many years of schooling.

so wat is the result? a brand new ME ! (duh!)

though i am totally unsure if all the effort i put in this yr will it be enough, or whether i actually have enough time to complete all my revision and be confident in my "A" levels. I understand that this shall be my turning point in life. Any regrets is totally unaccepted. With this in mind, i push myself. HIGHER n' FURTHER. Becos i know i can. i have done it before, n' amazed at what i can achieve. I am going to Score it AGAIN.

Welcome back this new Shean, who have grown in many little ways.